Who is Thanatophilus?

What a good question!

Thanatophilus is the evil voice that lives in my head. The one that tells me that killing myself, even killing others, would be a great idea. It's not a second personality, it's just my basest, most depressed desires personified. Yes, I know it's probably a sign of mental illness. No, I am not currently seeking help.
My goal here is to maybe amuse, maybe educate, and maybe, just maybe, disempower that evil voice with your laughter.

Thanatophilus got his name while I was listening to a reading from the bible, and thinking about the Greek I took in college. It's simply the words for death and love mashed together in what I think is a proper form. And it's appropriate for this voice. It loves death, at least as far as contemplation goes.

No, I do not actually hear voices. No, I have never made a serious enough attempt on my life that it required medical care. No, I can't go and see a shrink- I am one of the many under-employed, uninsured Americans.

Who am I?

I'm a 28 (almost 29) year old woman who has never had a job with which she could support herself. I am a survivor of abuse, but only just. I am a deeply damaged person, but you'd never know it to deal with me. I work with children, and the last thing I want to be associated with my "real" life is this voice. I know it would be easy to track me down if you cared to, but I am asking you not to.

I am a polyamourous woman, with only one current relationship. He's married. Luckily, she thinks I am awesome, and loves having me around. Unlickily, they live 300 miles or so away.

I may update this if my conversations with Thanatophilus don't prove as revealing as I think they might.