It finally hit me, what I really lost when he broke up with me. I lost the only man who ever seriously talked about children with me, the only man who I ever yearned to have babies with. It took me 27 years to find him.

And now I've lost my chance to be a parent.

I know, it's not supposed to work like that- couldn't I find someone else, find a sperm donor, something? No, I need to be part of a team if I ever have kids, and there's nobody else I've ever met that I really wanted on my team the way I wanted him.

And I am doomed by my own choices to now work with other people's children, knowing there will never be one of my own.

And he probably thinks I'm mostly over him by now.